


Six Signs Your Boyfriend is a Vampire

by occultclysms



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 7/11, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Beaches, Humor, I dont know what else to tag this with, Investigations, Leather, M/M, Roommates, but its a mess, reddit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 12:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25969633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/occultclysms/pseuds/occultclysms
Summary: This year, Doyoung is a junior rooming with Jaehyun Jung, history major. From what Doyoung knows about him, he’s drop dead gorgeous and a perfect straight A student. But Doyoung has never seen Jaehyun open a textbook or do a single homework assignment.It didn’t bother Doyoung in the first two months of living with Jaehyun, but after incessant questions from Taeyong about Jaehyun that Doyoung couldn’t answer, he decided to pay more attention to his mysterious roommate.Nothing really sticks out about Jaehyun for weeks, but while browsing around on Reddit, as one does, he stumbles upon a post titled, ‘Six Signs Your Boyfriend is a Vampire.’ Normally, Doyoung doesn’t buy into crap like that, but it’s two-thirty in the morning, so he doesn’t have much to lose.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung
Comments: 54
Kudos: 362
Collections: jaedo digest: vol. 2





	Six Signs Your Boyfriend is a Vampire

Doyoung is studying forensic science in college so he can learn to solve crimes with science. It’s something he’s wanted to do ever since he was a kid. But that doesn’t mean he wants to start solving crimes now. 

Well, technically, this isn’t crime solving, but there’s definitely a mystery afoot. A mystery that involves his new roommate at the dorms this year. 

This year, Doyoung is a junior rooming with Jaehyun Jung, history major. From what Doyoung knows about him, he’s drop dead gorgeous and a perfect straight A student. But Doyoung has never seen Jaehyun open a textbook or do a single homework assignment.

It didn’t bother Doyoung in the first two months of living with Jaehyun, but after incessant questions from Taeyong about Jaehyun that Doyoung couldn’t answer, he decided to pay more attention to his mysterious roommate.

Nothing really sticks out about Jaehyun for weeks, but while browsing around on Reddit, as one does, he stumbles upon a post titled, ‘Six Signs Your Boyfriend is a Vampire.’ Normally, Doyoung doesn’t buy into crap like that, but it’s two-thirty in the morning, so he doesn’t have much to lose.

 **Sign 1: Only awake at night.** Vampires have an inverted circadian rhythm, meaning that the twenty-four hour cycle dominating their physiological process is backwards from that of a regular human. If your boyfriend is waking up at eight PM and going to bed when the sun rises, then you’re either dealing with a vampire or a total night owl. However, this isn’t a surefire way of knowing whether or not your boyfriend is a creature of the night, so make sure he checks off a couple of the other boxes on this list before staking him through the heart.

 **Sign 2: Has vampire teeth.** This should be one of the most obvious traits that you would check for, but maybe you thought that super sharp canine teeth were just a cliche. That’s very cool of you— but this could be a life and death situation, and you shouldn’t mess around when you’re dealing with a potential vampire. If your boyfriend has elongated, pointed teeth or giant fangs protruding from his grill then you should probably start worrying about whether or not he’s going to try and drink your blood. If his teeth are just sort of points then check to see if there are any red stains left on them from his many blood based meals.

 **Sign 3: Doesn’t understand technology.** According to the BBC, the word ‘vampyre’ first appeared in English in the London Journal in March 1732, which means that your boyfriend could be anywhere from three hundred years old to thousands of years old depending on how long he’s been in hiding. Unless he’s a ‘new’ vampire who was created some time in the 70s or 80s, he probably doesn’t have a good grasp of technology, so don’t get your feelings hurt if you don’t see any posts from him about your relationship.

 **Sign 4: Doesn’t understand pop culture.** This one connects with sign number three, but it’s different because it shows that your maybe-vampire boyfriend doesn’t care to even try and keep his cover. Technology is one thing, but even vampires should get to the movies more than once a decade. In this same vein, if he doesn’t get any of your jokes, you either aren’t funny or your boyfriend is a vampire.

 **Sign 5: Hates sunlight.** Vampires aren’t fans of sunlight, as you sure know after decades of being inundated with vampire mythology. In some instances they’re reduced to ash by sun rays, and at the very least they’ll catch fire during the day. Has your boyfriend refused to meet you on get day-drunk on your day off from the bank? Is he just like, ‘no way babe,’ when you ask him to meet you for lunch? Does he insist on only going out after the sun has fully retreated completely into the night sky? If so, he’s either a complete douche bag or he’s a blood sucking demon. However, some vampirologists believe that the whole sunlight thing is just a myth, so don’t base your BF’s vampire status on this alone.

 **Sign 6: Won’t eat garlic.** This should be an obvious no brainer, but no vampire would ever eat garlic. You wouldn’t eat concrete because it isn’t what you are supposed to consume, right? The same logic applies with vampires. They aren’t supposed to eat garlic, so they don’t. They only want to consume the blood of delicious humans.

 **Bonus Sign: Looks good in leather.** Blood suckers always look better than mere mortals in a full leather outfit than members of the general public do. If your boyfriend not only pulls off looking like a Dave Navarro-impersonator, but actively makes you think that more people should wear leather pants (even though they totally shouldn’t) then your boyfriend is probably a vampire.

This list is truly something else. Doyoung could see how Jaehyun kinda fit some of the things on the list, but he will have to investigate a bit more to get anything conclusive.

The investigation will have to wait until tomorrow, though, as it’s now two forty-two am and Doyoung has an eight am class tomorrow. 

**Sign 1: Only Awake at Night**

Doyoung is out on the couch writing a term paper, at half past ten. It’s a Friday night and he’s already bored. Maybe he can watch a movie with Jaehyun and then try to finish this tomorrow. Doyoung stands up, abandoning his computer on the couch and walking over to Jaehyun’s room. He knocks softly and hears a ‘come in.’

One of the first things that Doyoung notices is that Jaehyun has a collection of pet rocks on his dresser. It’s not necessarily that weird, but these are some high class fake rocks. Some even have tiny fake hats which seems like a lot of attention to detail for something people normally make when they’re five.

“Hey, Jaehyun I was wondering if you wanted to watch a movie with me? I’ve given up on my term paper and just want some company,” Doyoung says, opening the door.

“Oh, I would love to, but I have work in an hour and half, so unless it’s a short movie, I might have to decline,” Jaehyun replies, gazing up at Doyoung. His eye contact is so intense Doyoung worries Jaehyun can see right through him.

“Work?” Doyoung asks, blinking a couple times. Why on Earth is Jaehyun going to work at eleven-thirty at night? “It’s late though.”

“I work graveyard shifts at one of the 7/11’s on campus. My hours are one to seven. I’m generally back here by seven-fifteen. To be honest, I’m surprised you didn’t notice I’m gone all night considering you’re awake as well.” Jaehyun adjusts himself on his bed, pulling his legs out from under the blanket.

“Now I feel bad for not noticing,” Doyoung mumbles, shifting his weight from foot to foot, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Jaehyun reassures, smiling just enough for his dimples to poke through. Taeyong is right, Jaehyun is gorgeous, but probably not gay, or single, or a vampire. “Anyway, I’ll watch something shorter with you to keep you company.”

Jaehyun climbs off his bed and follows Doyoung to the couch where they both sit, Doyoung moving his laptop out of the way to properly see the T.V.

“What did you want to watch?” Jaehyun asks.

“I have no idea. Show me your favorite show,” Doyoung requests. Jaehyun flicks through a couple channels before settling on Law & Order, a considerably old and well-known show.

“I enjoy the show a lot, don’t judge me,” Jaehyun says. “It’s been on for forever, so it’s, like, familiar.”

“Law & Order hasn’t aired since 2010,” Doyoung points out. “You were thirteen in 2010.” 

“Okay, that is true,” Jaehyun defends, cheeks flushing a little bit. “But I like it anyway.”

“I’m just teasing you, don’t worry. I like Law & Order,” Doyoung replies. 

“Good because I was understating my enjoyment for the show,” Jaehyun says. The two of them fall into a comfortable silence and Jaehyun ends up putting an arm around Doyoung’s shoulders which definitely isn’t a big deal to Doyoung, not at all. But the show eventually ends and Jaehyun gets up. For a moment it feels like Jaehyun is gonna lean back down and kiss Doyoung goodbye, but that would be weird.

“I’m assuming you need to leave for work now,” Doyoung mumbles, looking everywhere but at Jaehyun.

“Yeah, I need to go change into my 7/11 uniform though,” Jaehyun replies. “You should get some sleep though, whatever you’re working on can wait until tomorrow.” Jaehyun smiles and Doyoung wants to poke one of his dimples.

“I’ll see you in the morning then,” Doyoung says, standing up.

“Goodnight, Doyoung.”

“Night.”

**Sign 2: Has Vampire Teeth**

“Hey, Jaehyun,” Doyoung calls.

“Yeah, Doyoung?” Jaehyun replies. Doyoung walks around the corner to find Jaehyun in the bathroom, flossing. It’s the middle of the day, why is he flossing?

“Why are you flossing at this hour?” Doyoung asks. “You didn’t even eat recently.”

“I just enjoy flossing.” Jaehyun takes the floss out of his mouth. “I love and care for my teeth which is why I’ve both never had a tooth pulled and never had a cavity.” Doyoung isn’t the type to completely ignore his teeth, but he’s had one or two cavities in his lifetime. The dentist told him that it’s mostly normal for people to get one at some point.

Oh god, what if Doyoung’s dentist is a liar? That needs to be set aside for the moment as Doyoung just wants to take this opportunity to look at Jaehyun’s teeth. Super not weird.

“That’s quite impressive,” Doyoung comments, trying to stand in such a way where he can get a clear view of Jaehyun’s canines. Now, if vampire teeth stay a normal size unless they are sucking blood, Doyoung will be embarrassing himself for no reason. Though, he’s probably doing that already as vampires aren’t real. Probably.

Jaehyun turns towards Doyoung and smiles really big. Aha! Jaehyun’s canines are way more pointier than any human Doyoung has ever seen. And now he just needs to make an excuse to leave and all will be fine.

“When was the last time you flossed, Doyoung?” Jaehyun asks. Fuck.

“Like two days ago,” Doyoung admits. He literally brushed his teeth this morning and hasn’t eaten since, but the idea of Jaehyun flossing his teeth is utterly strange. Jaehyun is either a vampire or really wants to be a dentist. “You’re not trying to get practice because you’re an up and coming dentist are you?”

“Nope.” Jaehyun throws away his floss and grabs a new piece for Doyoung. “I just really love teeth.” Doyoung takes an extra step into the bathroom and leans against the sink. Is this really happening? Yeah, it’s harder to get out of it now and Jaehyun genuinely seems excited.

Good god, if Doyoung can let a dentist into his mouth, then surely he can handle letting a very attractive guy do it as well? The phrasing of that isn’t ideal, but any embarrassment from that can be put aside for a later date.

“Okay, yeah, floss my teeth or whatever,” Doyoung mumbles, opening his mouth a bit.

“Can do,” Jaehyun replies. “And don’t worry, I’m a professional.” That actually doesn’t put Doyoung’s mind at ease because who taught Jaehyun professional floss techniques? People don’t become professional flossers overnight. Which could mean that Jaehyun has been alive for a very long time… 

Now is not the time to think about how Jaehyun is probably a vampire because they are in close proximity and Jaehyun could definitely overpower Doyoung if Doyoung decided to not give Jaehyun his blood. Wait, is that problematic? It’s too late as the floss is already in his mouth. 

The flossing goes smoothly enough and Jaehyun only asks Doyoung to open his mouth wider four times which is less than when Doyoung is at the dentist, but he’s sure he came closer to biting down on Jaehyun’s fingers rather than his dentist’s. Which means that the dentist is lying about how much Doyoung needs to open his mouth. While that’s a strange thing to lie about, it’s still a lie.

“You have gorgeous teeth,” Jaehyun comments and Doyoung nods slowly. This has easily been the strangest experience of his life, but it was oddly homoeroctic which is such a big twist he now needs to go lay down for a bit.

“Thank you, but I’m gonna go nap now, bye.” Doyoung nearly runs out of the room and ducks under his covers within fifteen seconds, trying to make his embarrassment go away.

**Sign 3: Doesn’t Understand Technology**

“This is embarrassing,” Doyoung mumbles, looking over at Jaehyun playing with an iPad and jumping whenever it makes noise. He’s currently in the Verizon store with Jaehyun because Jaehyun doesn’t own a cell phone. According to him, cell phones just aren’t his cup of tea. It’s after dinner and the sun is already down which Doyoung finds suspicious, but it’s the only time he was free as well, so he can’t rule that one out quite yet.

But because of Jaehyun’s work hours and catching up with the times, Doyoung insisted on getting him a phone. At the very least, a flip phone, though that might be even harder for Jaehyun to figure out.

“Jaehyun, get over here,” Doyoung hisses. Jaehyun straightens up, gives a quick glare to the iPad and walks over to Doyoung. He is unbelievable. “How is it that you’re twenty one years and have never even touched a phone?”

“Well, you see…” Jaehyun trails off. “Yeah, I have no idea. I don’t know how to use them at all, so isn’t this a bit of a waste?”

“Did you miss the part where I needed you to text me an assignment that I missed and then you asked what texting was? Or the fact that you work graveyard shifts, which is dangerous?” Doyoung asks. Jaehyun, sheepish as hell, rubs the back of his neck and doesn’t make eye contact.

“Okay, maybe you have some points, but I still think I will lose this, accidentally eat it or crush it,” Jaehyun counters.

“Crush it? Eat it?” Doyoung repeats. “I find it’s hard to eat your phone if you keep it away from your mouth.”

“Sometimes things look like food, but aren’t actually food,” Jaehyun replies cryptically.

“I don’t know if I want to know what that means.” Doyoung turns back to the display of phones. “Do any of these seem appealing to you? Because it’s your money here. I’m not wealthy enough to buy you an iPhone.”

“How much is an iPhone?” Jaehyun asks, already touching things again.

“Anywhere from eight hundred to fifteen hundred dollars,” Doyoung replies.

“That is a lot of money I think,” Jaehyun mumbles.

“What do you mean you think?”

“Uhhh, I don’t really have expenses or pay for things, so I’ll just assume that’s a lot.”

“Oh god, do you even have a bank account?” Doyoung asks. This is somehow both not surprising, but also a complete mess that doesn’t surprise Doyoung at all. 

“Well, yeah, how else would 7/11 pay me?” Jaehyun counters. “But I haven’t looked at it in like nine months or so.”

“How are you even real?”

“Great question, but let's assume I just have enough money,” Jaehyun says. “Worst case I apologize and we go to the bank together.”

“If you say so… what phone looks appealing to you then?” Jaehyun grabs what is somehow the most expensive phone there is. If this goes badly then Doyoung is going to find a new roommate. 

“This one is cool. I like that it’s purple.” Jaehyun tries to pick up the phone but is confused to see a wire connecting the phone to the table. Before Jaehyun can open his mouth to ask, Doyoung answers his question.

“It’s to prevent people from stealing the phones,” Doyoung says and Jaehyun nods, mouth making an O shape. “So you want to pay for that one and then we can head back to the dorm?”

“Yeah, sure.” Jaehyun tries to take the phone with him again and Doyoung stifles a giggle. He’s both endeared and slightly embarrassed, but that’s okay.

**Sign 4: Doesn’t Understand Pop Culture**

Doyoung has a bad habit of staying up when he really shouldn’t. It’s annoying on test days because then he always takes too long with answers and ends up missing a few more than he really should. But he ends up passing the class in the end so it’s never a huge deal.

And lately what Doyoung has been doing to pass the time while he’s not sleeping is randomly texting Jaehyun memes while he’s at work. They range from classic memes () to more modern ones (), but Jaehyun somehow gets none of them. Well, memes are Doyoung’s only way of communicating and Jaehyun not understanding them actually fits with the article Doyoung read a while ago.

After the incident at Verizon, Doyoung had reread the article and realized that Jaehyun fits four of the seven signs, and yes Doyoung is counting looking good in leather because that one seems like a fair one. Vampires need to seduce their prey and leather is a great thing to wear while doing that. Maybe Doyoung also wants to see Jaehyun in some leather, but he won’t admit that verbally.

The last three seem pretty easy to prove. Sunlight is a pretty no brainer one to prove. And Doyoung knows enough about cooking to handle proving the garlic one. Now the leather one Doyoung doesn’t know how to prove. Raiding Jaehyun’s closet with him as an excuse to clean it out might work. 

Before Doyoung can think too much more on it, Jaehyun knocks on his door. Doyoung could have sworn that Jaehyun would be at work tonight, but he supposes not since he’s here and it's not six am yet. Doyoung double checks his clock to be certain and yeah it’s only half past three.

“Come in,” Doyoung calls, sitting up and putting his phone away. Jaehyun walks in, dressed in pajamas.

“Hi Doie,” Jaehyun replies. “I’ve actually come in here to ask you a favor.” Doyoung takes note of how bashful Jaehyun looks.

“What is it?” Doyoung asks.

“I wanted to ask if I could sleep in here tonight,” Jaehyun begins. “You see, a quite scary spider got into my room and while I have set up an elaborate trap to either remove it from my room or kill it, it involves my bed a bit and I would rather not risk messing that up.”

“Alright, you can come sleep with me,” Doyoung says. They both know that the couch is plenty comfortable and Jaehyun has fallen asleep there many times, but Doyoung is growing fonder for Jaehyun as the days pass.

He wouldn’t say that he likes Jaehyun in a romantic sense yet, but it’s certainly getting to that point, and the fact that Jaehyun might be a vampire surprisingly isn’t negatively affecting Doyoung’s interest in him. It might actually be raising them a bit, but that’s between Doyoung, God, and his recently closed tabs on Safari.

Jaehyun walks around to the other side of the bed and climbs in under the covers. Doyoung lays back down and pulls the blanket up. They stare at the ceiling for a moment until Jaehyun turns on his side.

“Do you want to cuddle?” Jaehyun asks.

“Do you?” Doyoung counters. It isn’t even that weird for Doyoung to cuddle with people, but because he _might_ be having feelings for Jaehyun it makes everything ten times more awkward.

“I mean, I’m the one in your bed and if cuddling will make this more comforting for you, either because you have more space or because you just like it I see no problem,” Jaehyun says.

“Alright, then let’s cuddle. I don’t like sleeping right next to the edge of the bed,” Doyoung replies. He scooches over a bit closer to Jaehyun, but still lays on his back.

“You don’t look that comfortable,” Jaehyun points out. “Just lay like you normally would and I’ll fit myself with you.” That isn’t even super flirty, but Doyoung still feels a bit endeared anyway.

“Okay,” Doyoung whispers. Turning onto his side with his back facing Jaehyun, Doyoung puts himself into the closest position to how he normally sleeps. Jaehyun curls in behind him and tentatively wraps an arm around Doyoung’s waist. Doyoung wills himself not to flinch out of pure nervousness, but Jaehyun is comforting and warm around his form.

“Goodnight, Doie,” Jaehyun mumbles into Doyoung’s hair. The nickname makes Doyoung’s gut feel some kind of way, but he pushes it aside for tomorrow. Or never.

“Goodnight, Jaehyun.” Doyoung eventually drifts off to sleep, but the thought of Jaehyun’s teeth being near his neck while he slept isn’t something that brought him comfort. If Doyoung were to ever give his blood to a vampire, he would at least want to be conscious. Call that personal preference. Though Doyoung doesn’t like eating his food while it is conscious (or alive for that matter), but this must be different for vampires— 

Okay, time to go to sleep. For real this time.

**Sign 5: Hates Sunlight**

Christmas break comes around, but Doyoung isn’t going home this year. He’s gone home all the other years, but he’s tempted to do something different with his time considering that he’s graduating at the end of the year. It doesn’t really get cold here in the winter, so Doyoung was thinking about finally testing another part of his theory about Jaehyun.

“Hey Jaehyun,” Doyoung calls. “I was wondering if you wanted to go to the beach with me?” Jaehyun is sitting on the couch and Doyoung is already in his swim trunks with a towel. He plans on going to the beach with or without Jaehyun as if Jaehyun is a vampire, he won’t even want to go.

“I hate to tell you this, Doyoung,” Jaehyun begins, looking solemn. “I’m allergic to sand.” Jaehyun says it with a completely straight face and Doyoung isn’t sure if he’s even lying or not. He’s not allergic to sand because that’s literally just tiny rocks and Doyoung has seen Jaehyun’s pet rock collection.

“Sand is tiny rocks,” Doyoung replies and Jaehyun’s jaw drops.

“That is crazy.” The tips of Jaehyun’s ears turn pink an he turns back to his text book which isn’t even open the correct way.

“You could just say you don’t want to go to the beach with me, you know,” Doyoung points out. “Lying about being allergic to sand is the strangest lie I think I’ve ever been told and that’s setting the bar high considering I’m friends with Ten.”

“What did Ten tell you?” Jaehyun asks, trying to change the subject. Doyoung won’t let them completely diverge from the topic at hand, but the story is funny, so he will tell it anyway.

“Basically, I wanted Ten to go out to this bar with me, but he told me that his grandma was thrown out of that bar and then his whole family was cursed. But his grandma has never left Thailand and last I checked we don’t live in Thailand,” Doyoung explains.

“What about his other grandma?” Jaehyun counters.

“I think she also lives in Thailand, but she also hasn’t been here I don’t think,” Doyoung defends. “Plus even if she had, that’s far too specific to be true.”

“I mean, we could call up Ten and ask,” Jaehyun suggests.

“How is Ten going to prove it?” Doyoung asks.

“Isn’t he in Thailand over break though?” Doyoung’s jaw drops. They so could do this. “And it’s not even late over there.” Doyoung walks over to the couch and sits down next to Jaehyun and then whips out his phone and scrolls to Ten’s contact. The phone rings for a moment, but Ten answers the phone.

 _“Hello? Doyoung? Why are you calling?”_ Ten asks. What a way to start the call.

“Hi, I need to ask your grandma something. Doesn’t she speak English?” Doyoung asks. If Ten’s grandma doesn’t speak English than this is going to be harder to pull off. “Korean would also work, but I think that one is even more unlikely.” 

_“Yes and I mean, you didn’t specify which one, but right now I’m only with one of my grandma’s so sure. I’ll hand the phone over.”_ There’s a slight bit of muffling and background chatter before the phone is handed over.

“Hi?” Doyoung says.

 _“You’re a friend of Ten’s?”_ Wow, Ten really put his grandma on the phone.

“Yeah, I’m Doyoung Kim. Me and Ten are friends. I was just wondering if you were ever thrown out of a bar and then had your whole family cursed if you were to return?” Doyoung asks. The line is silent for a moment and Doyoung is worried he’s somehow caused problems for Ten.

 _“No, I’ve never even been drinking. Why do you ask?”_ Oh, this will be good. Doyoung spares a glance over at Jaehyun who looks close to laughing. His teeth are biting his lower lip to hold it back and Doyoung can’t help but notice his canines sticking out.

“Because Ten told me you had and I was just curious if it was true,” Doyoung replies. Now the line is silent again, but within seconds Doyoung can hear Ten’s grandma cursing him out in Thai. While Doyoung will never know exactly what was said, he’s sure it’s plenty embarrassing to Ten and that’s good enough for him.

It doesn’t seem like the phone is going to be picked up again, so Doyoung hangs up and slouches against the couch. Jaehyun breaks into laughter immediately and Doyoung smiles. So Jaehyun did end up distracting Doyoung, but the satisfaction of Ten being caught in a lie was far too much fun to pass up. There’s always the final official sign and the bonus sign that will decide whether or not Jaehyun is a vampire.

“Wanna watch a movie with me?” Jaehyun asks and Doyoung sighs. No beach for him today, but staying in and watching a movie with Jaehyun doesn’t seem so bad either.

“Yes, but let me go put a shirt on first.” Jaehyun smiles at Doyoung and his heart skips a beat. This is so cringy, Doyoung please stop crushing on boys.

**Sign 6: Won’t Eat Garlic**

“Hey Doyoung,” Jaehyun says. They’re currently cuddling on the couch watching Law & Order again. Somehow this has kind of become their new normal where they hang out together in positions that aren’t strictly platonic. Like they can be, but it feels pretty intimate to Doyoung. “We should order in because cooking is too much work and I think that we should stay cuddled together.” 

Doyoung ignores how Jaehyun’s words make him feel some mildly homoerotic feelings and tries to think through what he would like to eat. Burgers are too greasy and messy, sushi is expensive, he had Mexican two days ago… Italian. That sounds so good right now, and Doyoung can test the garlic part of Jaehyun being a vampire.

“Italian food sounds so good right now,” Doyoung says and Jaehyun scrunches up his nose. “Do you not like that?” This is not looking good.

“I hate garlic and it’s in most Italian food. What about sushi?” Jaehyun counters. Doyoung didn’t even mention garlic yet. Jaehyun is probably a vampire, this is amazing. Tomorrow Doyoung can look through Jaehyun’s closet and see if there is even anything leather that he can try on.

“Sushi is expensive though,” Doyoung points out. “I am still a college student.”

“I think I can cover it,” Jaehyun reassures. “I checked my bank account the other day and let's just say I could probably buy my own sushi restaurant if I really wanted to and I would be fine.” 

Doyoung can’t help his jaw dropping. How did Jaehyun not even know this? He literally works at 7/11 though, so how much money can he really be making? Even if he worked tons of overtime and extra hours, that wouldn’t be mathematically possible.

“How is that even possible?” Doyoung asks. “Wait that’s rude—”

“Don’t worry,” Jaehyun says, brushing off Doyoung’s worries that he may have accidentally offended Jaehyun. “I think it’s just all the overtime hours I put in.”

“Uh huh,” Doyoung replies. He doesn’t believe Jaehyun at all and it would actually make sense if Jaehyun has been alive for several hundred years with little expenses.

“Anyway come pick what you want.” Jaehyun hands over his phone and Doyoung can’t help but notice how pretty Jaehyun’s hands are. Doyoung doesn’t even have a thing for hands but Jaehyun’s hands are perfect, so how can’t he like them? That’s a gay thought, time to put it away for later.

Hopefully tomorrow’s results come back inconclusive because this seems like Jaehyun is really a blood sucking creature of the night.

**Bonus Sign: Looks Good In Leather**

Things aren’t looking good for the case that Jaehyun isn’t a vampire. He’s met all six signs, but it’s the last one that Doyoung is staking all his money on. Vampires have to be sexy and leather is sexy (kinda), so if Jaehyun doesn’t look good in it then he can’t be a vampire.

Doyoung woke up extra early today to sneak into Jaehyun’s room and look around to see stuff, but once he walks in at half past seven, Jaehyun is sitting in bed, doing something on his phone.

“Good morning?” Jaehyun says. “I’m surprised to see you awake at this hour, especially on a Saturday.” This is quite awkward for Doyoung. How is he supposed to lie his way out of this one?

“I need to see if you have any leather clothes because I wanted to see how you look in them,” Doyoung blurts out. There goes the lying strategy.

“This is a strange way of flirting, but whatever you say.” Doyoung’s mouth goes dry and Jaehyun gets up from his bed. He’s dressed in pajamas which doesn’t surprise Doyoung, but what does surprise him is when Jaehyun takes his pajama shirt off. Now Doyoung’s mouth is somehow more dry.

“I—” Doyoung doesn’t even have a good response to that because he was not intentionally flirting, he has been kind of trying to flirt a little bit. Like he’s been shutting away all the gay thoughts he gets around Jaehyun because he doesn’t think Jaehyun will like him back, but Doyoung can still try to poison Jaehyun’s mind with gay thoughts.

Jaehyun disappears into the closet and Doyoung tries to collect himself while he’s away, but Jaehyun returns in leather pants and still no shirt which doesn’t help with that. But once Doyoung gets over the shock of Jaehyun’s abs for a second time in the early morning, he gives Jaehyun a proper once over.

Jaehyun doesn’t pull off leather.

This is a miracle. He can’t be a vampire. Doyoung is near tears, he's so relieved. Like Jaehyun being a vampire would have been something Doyoung could handle and part of him might have actually enjoyed it, but realistically that wouldn’t work. Doyoung would end up getting too paranoid that he would go to sleep one night and then never wake up because all his blood had been stolen.

“I’m so glad you aren’t a vampire,” Doyoung mumbles.

“What?” Jaehyun flicks his attention back over to Doyoung. “I am a vampire. Why do you think I’ve been leading you on to that for months?”

“I’m sorry, what?” Doyoung asks. Jaehyun did not just say that.

“Y’know… a vampire.” Jaehyun looks kinda sheepish which would be cute if he hadn’t just admitted to being a fucking vampire. “Is this gonna make things weird?”

“Uhhh, I don’t think so.” It’s definitely going to make things weird.

“Your facial expression and the fact that you’ve been doing things to try and figure out if I’m a vampire or not is quite suspicious,” Jaehyun points out. Doyoung’s jaw drops. This is not good. “You’re not as subtle as you think you are.”

“I have no words,” Doyoung mumbles.

“Those are words, but here’s something that will make you speechless,” Jaehyun begins, taking a few steps closer to Doyoung. “I really like you. Like in a really gay way.” If it were possible, Doyoung would be having a nose bleed right now.

“Oh?” Doyoung feels light headed. There is no way any of this is happening. It’s some sort of sick joke that everyone has decided to play on him. 

“Yes, I like you a lot and I think you’re absolutely brilliant and wonderful, if a bit in denial. And I think you like me too because we’ve been getting pretty close and whenever you think I’m not paying attention you’ll stare at me,” Jaehyun says. That’s both sweet and embarrassing, but isn’t that what all love should be?

“I do like you too,” Doyoung replies, staring at Jaehyun, watching his reaction, still scared that the rug is going to be pulled out from under him yet again. “I kinda wanna kiss you, but like no homo.”

“No homo, obviously.” Jaehyun tentatively grabs Doyoung’s waist and Doyoung puts his arms around Jaehyun’s neck. They lean in and Jaehyun is the one that makes first contact. It’s a barely there kiss, just testing the water, but Doyoung’s insides are still set aflame. Finally his gay feelings can be felt at full force.

Doyoung deepens the kiss and pushes his tongue into Jaehyun’s mouth. Jaehyun kisses back and squeezes Doyoung’s waist just a tad. They kiss for a moment, feeling out each other and how they kiss. Jaehyun is far more languid than Doyoung expects, but he doesn’t mind it as Jaehyun is clearly taking his time with him and Doyoung is loving every second, but then he runs out of air.

“You’re a really good kisser,” Doyoung comments. Jaehyun smiles shyly and Doyoung gets a good look at his teeth. All of a sudden, the time Jaehyun flossed his teeth is back in the forefront of his mind and Doyoung wants to stick his head in the sand. Jaehyun goes in for another kiss, but Doyoung dodges it with an apologetic smile. “This is lovely, but right now my mind has gone from gay thoughts to the time you flossed my teeth.”

“You should let me do that again sometime,” Jaehyun replies and Doyoung shoves his head in Jaehyun’s shoulder. “Flossing your teeth was quite relaxing.”

“Okay, fine.”

“Nice, but we can properly kiss another time. Along with anything else you may want to do,” Jaehyun says suggestively. And Doyoung’s mind immediately jumps into the gutter, but Jaehyun is apparently not even thinking that at all. “I have been wanting to bite you for months. You don’t even know how good your blood smells.”

“Yeah, I’m going to need a bit to get used to that because wow that just gave me whiplash.” Doyoung straightens up and looks Jaehyun in the eyes. This is really happening.

“We have time, don’t worry,” Jaehyun reassures and Doyoung believes him.

**Author's Note:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/occultclysms)   
>  [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/carrotyeol)


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